This Week in Fake News

AWPYD7 Elderly woman raising eyebrow and looking at camera, portrait, close-up

Photo Credit: AWPYD7

I got bored and wrote a fake news article after browsing the internet and reading a bunch of real ones. Of course, I don’t really condone a shooting gallery/ kid’s playhouse. That sort of goes without saying… This is satire.

There may be six fewer houses on Low Street by the end of August as town officials find a way to improve visibility for traffic entering High Street from Low Street.

The plan, which is being proposed to accommodate the expected increase of traffic from the new multi-million dollar shooting gallery and kid’s fun-house, Shoots N Tots, includes making the base of Low Street into a water slide that will empty directly into the fun-house.

A public hearing will be held on Thursday, December 24 at 1:30 am, near the end of a Christmas selectman’s ball to discuss the changes that by then will already be under way. RSVP is required, BYOB (bring your own bananas.)

The proposed plan would allow the DOT to issue a traffic flow permit for the new shooting gallery and kid’s fun-house that is under construction. This should have been done before construction began, but who has time for foresight? Rhetorical question, of course.

The building is expected to open next March. The water slide will open shortly there-after, and employ at least four and a half school age children to satisfy the state’s strict right to work laws.

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You know you’ve hit a low point when… (Or Today’s Random Thought)

You write “I am worth it” all over a blank piece of paper in order to convince yourself of that fact. Twenty minutes later you have a cramp in your wrist and a very desperate and sad looking piece of paper. The worst part is, this isn’t even a suggestion from your therapist. It was your idea. Hahaha. Funny.

Anyway, here’s to hoping everyone else is having a better day.

Cheers

Last Night’s Dream

original photo credit www.hotrod.com

original photo credit http://www.hotrod.com

I had a dream last night. Some people like this kind of stuff, find meaning in it. I’m not sure if I do, but dreams can be an entertaining break from the monotony of my life.

Some background first- I used to live, oh I mean, work at a credit union in the mortgage department. I was there for four years- longer than that in various positions within the CU, but about four years in mortgages. I had a pretty nifty boss, but boy she let you have it if you stepped out of line. I respected her for that. I no longer work at the credit union, for reasons unrelated to anything in the following dream.

I’m back at work at the credit union, my boss Lydia (not her real name) is at her desk. Only it’s not the credit union, it’s her home. And it’s not a desk, it’s a kitchen sink. Only, it is a desk, too. Sometimes. My little brother is also there, somewhere. I have a desk of my own, along the back wall of what must be a kitchen. There’s counters, tiled floors, bright lighting. But there’s also filing cabinets, and I’m pretty sure half the room was a forest.

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Today’s Random Thought

12085098-Beer-bottle-neck-with-dust-Stock-Photo-beer-glass-smokeI love the snap and pop of the cap coming off a beer, the clatter as it falls on the counter, and the cool smoke that pours out the newly exposed opening. And the first sip- cold glass on your lips, amber, sweet, bitter, and hoppy, cool goodness flowing into your mouth. So refreshing.

I could write ads for beer companies.

Today’s Random Thought

Warning, the following random thought does contain some vulgar language because I contain vulgar language. Don’t read it if vulgar language offends you. I will delete your complaint comment if you read it anyway and become offended. This is not a poem. So don’t read it if you wanted to read a poem. Go read a poem instead. I do have a few on my site…

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Book of Poems, Just for Fun

I took a little time off from “confessional” poetry and blogging to work on a children’s book, of all things. The idea had been bouncing around in my head for a while, and I finally decided to do something with it.

After several hours perfecting it in inDesign, I can’t stop thinking in rhyme. I thought for sure, a blog post would be just the cure. Hrm.

Maybe a little freeform poetry..

Book of Poems

(Nothing Profound, Just a Little Fun)

by Megan Blaney aka wiedienacht

I’ll trade you these poems for the rest of your plate

I’ll give you my soul, hardcover, just for a taste

I’ve traveled through cities, prairies, mountains and towns

To arrive on your doorstep, just as the sun goes down


Good sir, this offer you cannot pass up

This book of poems, all for a sup


These words have fed me for nearly a year

But can no longer sustain me that is now clear

My gift to you is surely profound

And if you refuse me I’ll go to the ground


Good sir, this offer you cannot pass up

This book of poems, all for a sup


Take note my pale face, my withering hand

My crooked knees bend, I hardly can stand

But I assure you my most gracious host

It is you not I to benefit the most


Good sir, this offer you must not pass up

My book of poems, all for a sup


What loss to us both, if you say no

I the death of my body, you the death of my soul

You chuckle madly and say “there’s no loss to me

Go peddle elsewhere, you’re mad, I can’t even read”


Good sir, to my sorrow my offer you pass up

This book of poems, all for a sup

Happy Mother’s Day

We should appreciate mothers every day not just on corporate sanctioned holidays.

Please appreciate your mother not by binge shopping dead flowers and sharing stale chemical laced chocolates, but by the thoughtful small things. You know what she likes, don’t take my word for it.

Just sharing my random thoughts for the day. But, do try and have a happy mother’s day still.

(Love you always Mom.)

Mildly Frustrated? Or something of a confession.

Can anyone tell me why I have (for example) two views and eleven likes? It doesn’t make sense to me. Why like something that you haven’t read? :/

Anyway, I wanted to post something different today. I’ve been putting up a scattering of poems that I’ve written, mostly because I think they reflect the stage of my life I’ve been going through. Now I’ve decided to throw up something of a journal.. And wouldn’t you know it, I can’t think of anything to say… So…

This is strange for me. I’ve always been a private person, so this decision to blog surprised me a little. Why share things with a world you’d rather close yourself off from? I guess I can take a little comfort in knowing that most people on this site appear just to breeze through, arbitrarily liking and following you in an attempt to induce you to do the same. Haha. Only kind of kidding.

I’ve been diagnosed recently with depression and anxiety. I suppose I’m in a rather wide, crowed boat. I think something like 121 million people worldwide have been diagnosed with depression, and something like one in ten people will suffer from some form of it at one point in their lives. (You may want to fact check me, I’m relying on my increasingly faulty memory to recall those figures.) Some may find that comforting. We aren’t alone, after all. I find it nauseating.

Maybe I thought that sharing my progression through this illness (and hopefully beyond it), albeit in a somewhat distanced form, would be therapeutic? I don’t know. I’ve begun (yet again) to doubt my decisions. I suppose the best thing to do would be to continue and see, wouldn’t it?

This isn’t what I intended to write about. See what happens when you don’t set goals? 😉

Anyway, signing off for now. I have a warm bed and blanket calling my name.

(Also, what is a slug? Besides an oozy garden creature. It’s under advanced settings, and I can’t find it in help.. probably because I’m lazy.)