I got bored and wrote a fake news article after browsing the internet and reading a bunch of real ones. Of course, I don’t really condone a shooting gallery/ kid’s playhouse. That sort of goes without saying… This is satire.
There may be six fewer houses on Low Street by the end of August as town officials find a way to improve visibility for traffic entering High Street from Low Street.
The plan, which is being proposed to accommodate the expected increase of traffic from the new multi-million dollar shooting gallery and kid’s fun-house, Shoots N Tots, includes making the base of Low Street into a water slide that will empty directly into the fun-house.
A public hearing will be held on Thursday, December 24 at 1:30 am, near the end of a Christmas selectman’s ball to discuss the changes that by then will already be under way. RSVP is required, BYOB (bring your own bananas.)
The proposed plan would allow the DOT to issue a traffic flow permit for the new shooting gallery and kid’s fun-house that is under construction. This should have been done before construction began, but who has time for foresight? Rhetorical question, of course.
The building is expected to open next March. The water slide will open shortly there-after, and employ at least four and a half school age children to satisfy the state’s strict right to work laws.