After hitting a low point, clawing myself out for a few months into the light of the “real world” only to detonate myself and a few innocent people around me (not literally for those that might be frowning or gasping in a concerned way), I’m back here “blogging” and reading other people’s “blogs.” Melodramatic opening, I know. Sorry, not sorry. I’m at the bottom looking up again and wondering how the hell do “normal” people do it? (Begin “Appeasing Statement.” No offense to serious bloggers. I’m not implying that the blogging sphere is necessarily “the bottom.” Just that I end up here when I personally hit “the bottom” emotionally. End of “Appeasing Statement.”)
Time for some self reflection, poetry and art to cheer me up, bolster me for the next big failure of my life. Haha. Damn is it hard not to be self-depreciating. Maybe I should take one of those courses that help you suppress your “id” and become one with the world around you. Hard not to see that as willfully guzzling the poison that up until recently you’ve only been sipping. Do I sound like I’m whining? Don’t answer that, I might be forced to come through the screen and slap you.
Some random thoughts I had to get out. I’ll post some poems over the next few weeks if anyone cares to read them, doubt they’ll be much good but they are, shall we say, therapeutic.
Sorry you read this thinking it might be entertaining, but then feeling as hollow and disappointed as a child leaving a cut rate amusement park with nothing more than sticky hands and a ragged teddy bear missing an eye to show for your efforts when you reached the last few sentences without even uttering a single amused grunt.
I got bored and wrote a fake news article after browsing the internet and reading a bunch of real ones. Of course, I don’t really condone a shooting gallery/ kid’s playhouse. That sort of goes without saying… This is satire.
There may be six fewer houses on Low Street by the end of August as town officials find a way to improve visibility for traffic entering High Street from Low Street.
The plan, which is being proposed to accommodate the expected increase of traffic from the new multi-million dollar shooting gallery and kid’s fun-house, Shoots N Tots, includes making the base of Low Street into a water slide that will empty directly into the fun-house.
A public hearing will be held on Thursday, December 24 at 1:30 am, near the end of a Christmas selectman’s ball to discuss the changes that by then will already be under way. RSVP is required, BYOB (bring your own bananas.)
The proposed plan would allow the DOT to issue a traffic flow permit for the new shooting gallery and kid’s fun-house that is under construction. This should have been done before construction began, but who has time for foresight? Rhetorical question, of course.
The building is expected to open next March. The water slide will open shortly there-after, and employ at least four and a half school age children to satisfy the state’s strict right to work laws.
Today I started a “Happiness Cat.” It’s like a “Happiness Jar” but I used a cat instead, since I don’t have a jar. Not a real cat. That would be inhumane. And messy.
What’s a “Happiness Cat” then, you may ask? Or not. I’m going to tell you anyway. It’s a ceramic cat (or jar, or bottle, or fish bowl, preferably empty and clean) that you put slips of happiness into. Every day, at least once, you write one or two sentences about something that brought you joy (or at least mild amusement), and put them into the cat. (The ceramic one.)
Then, if you’re feeling blue on a particular day (or every night) you can reach a hand into the cat and pull out a bit of happiness (…again, I feel the need to stress the ceramic cat. Otherwise, one or both of you may end up in an emergency room.)
I ripped the idea off of someone’s Facebook feed, who ripped it off of someone else. Please feel free to rip it off again, for that’s the beauty of the internet, really.
I haven’t been posting lately because I haven’t been writing much lately.. woe is me. Haha, no but for a good reason. My best friend is getting married at the end of June and we’ve been planning the Bachelorette Party. (Not sure if it’s grammatically correct to capitalize those words, but it seems such a Holy day that I would be remiss not to…) I’m pretty excited. I get to get totally wasted and conduct myself in a manner most un-befitting a human being- oh and, my best friend is getting married. I’m excited about that too, I suppose. (I really am.)
Like all good things, the party was slapped together last minute and crammed into the coming weekend with little or no real forethought. It should be fricking awesome! But, I’m wasting time here, I need to get prepared. Ohmmm*… Saturday is tomorrow after all. (I feel like that’s profound in some way. Like it would make a great T-Shirt. Maybe it’s just me.)
So, toodles! I should be back to writing depressing poetry, some blessedly short stories, or other random thoughts later in the month. (But not the 20th, since that’s “the big day.”) Maybe I’ll pop in with a post about the partay. We shall see.
Warning, the following random thought does contain some vulgar language because I contain vulgar language. Don’t read it if vulgar language offends you. I will delete your complaint comment if you read it anyway and become offended. This is not a poem. So don’t read it if you wanted to read a poem. Go read a poem instead. I do have a few on my site…